Whilst I agree with @champagnepapi if you are wanting to learn more about them and such, I do think there is something pretty special about fostering a relationship outside of the realms of social media for as long as possible. Given the vast life- dysmorphia of Facebook, you could lose the joy of getting to know someone at face value. If all goes well and you do end up in a more long term thing with this person, I’m sure the adding will come naturally. I wouldn’t worry about coming on too strong, but I would challenge you to enjoy the sweet spot without Facebook for a little longer 🙂 
Thoughts?

I think if you’re got mutual friends and its possible they could have come up in a tagged photo or post or something, and you’ve met them at least once, its not weird to send a friend request. If you have no mutual connections then you might have to do it in person (like ask what their Facebook name is or something) because there’s no way you’d naturally stumble upon them and looking them up can seem a bit stalkery haha I went on a few dates with a guy and I found his Facebook but didn’t add him yet cause I didn’t want to seem creepy but then it didn’t work out so never ended up adding him. I was already friends with my current boyfriend before we hooked up so I never had to worry about that there.

On a similar note though – what do people think of relationships statuses on Facebook? Do you think its weird? Is it necessary? My previous boyfriend wanted to update it after a month of dating but my current boyfriend I’ve been with for 4 and a half months and the subject hasn’t even come up. We’re tagged in enough photos together so people get the picture. I don’t really see the need to make it “Facebook official”. 

I think add whenever you feel comfortable and you’ve got a good vibe! That being said I’ve been dating a guy for like 6 or 7 weeks or something and we still aren’t Facebook friends – he’s 34 so I don’t think it’s a really big deal for older people lol. It’s weird how things have evolved on Facebook and now no one updates their relationship status, that seems to be a thing that has changed in the last two years or so. I don’t know if it’s an age thing, if I was to get into a relationship now I wouldn’t do the whole FB official thing, but I do wonder if kids 16-18 still do it? Everyone posts about getting engaged but that’s it. Also on another note how Facebook used to all be about statuses and posting photos – now it’s literally just memes. I don’t think I’ve made a status for like 3 years! 

Hey @peachy I think as long as they do eventually reply you have nothing to worry about. I totally get anxiety around that but maybe they have work obligations or see the message and make a mental note to reply later. Sometimes Facebook stays online even when you’re not or they might have a tab open at work or something. Just as long as you’re confident with where it’s heading and they get back to you within a relatively timely fashion try not to stress 🙂

on another note I just had a first date with someone new and it was nice, I’ll probably see them again. It wasn’t absolutely amazing though but I’m usually up for a second date. Except about half way into it they asked me for my Facebook! I was so shocked I gave it to them but now that I look back I found it slightly inappropriate – as we’ve discussed in this thread some of us think it’s a good idea to add someone perhaps when you can see it’s going somewhere and you’re both on the same page. I just personally don’t like someone looking through my Facebook after it’s only been one date (no shade if you’re into that though!) It’s ohciously too late now to bring it up because I accepted the request, but in the future what would you say if someone wanted to add you so soon and you felt slightly uncomfortable? Am I overreacting maybe? 

Is it inappropriate to ask someone to be Facebook friends if you’ve hung out in person? I think its weird to try and look them up and add them without asking, but I use Facebook a lot so for me it just makes sense to keep in touch with people. And if they’re going to look at my old pictures or posts and judge me for them and that turns them off, then they’re probably not the kind of person I want to end up with anyway – bad reaction? Delete them and move on.