Differing Expectations // Double Standards

Tagged: expectations

This topic has 21 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 7 months ago by tea.

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May 25, 2017 at 2:31 am #106414

CloakOfAsh
Participant

After reading the farting thread I was thinking about times when you have a bit of double standards with your partner. I get a bit grossed out when she farts yet I do it too – perhaps I am more discreet or perhaps I have just told myself that. I know that is some straight up unfair BS but I can’t help it. Like an inbuilt prejudice. Lucky it’s a pretty chill one and we are VERY understanding of what the others wants and needs are.

Another example and a common one – lots of guys expect trimmed and kept pubes, demand showers before sex etc but then are total slobs themselves.

Where does everyone else sit on this? Anyone got something they wouldn’t normally admit where they have judged a partner while being guilty of doing that same thing!? @curious @unknown @jackh – what do you think?

May 25, 2017 at 3:32 am #110824

unknown
Participant

umm well ive got a bad past so ive never had a normal relationship but ive usually heard that pubes need to be trimmed or gone alltogether, and clean as well- i get being cleaned but do men alwasy trim and shave?

May 25, 2017 at 6:33 am #110825

CloakOfAsh
Participant

@unknown sorry about your past being so upsetting and difficult. Always the future though 🙂

As for pubs being shorter or shaved – I believe that’s a common misconception – @Nurse_Nettie can you confirm?

May 25, 2017 at 7:33 am #110826

unknown
Participant

im working on it @CloakOfAsh 🙂

i would prefer trimmed pubes esp around that time of the month as it helps me feel cleaner and less yukk doen there

May 26, 2017 at 4:28 am #110827

Nurse_Nettie
Keymaster

Pubes don’t always have to shaved or trimmed for cleanliness or hygiene @CloakOfAsh & @unknown. In fact shaving often causes ingrown hairs & intense itch when the hair grows back. Shaving & trimming is a personal grooming preference.

May 26, 2017 at 4:44 am #110828

unknown
Participant

I usually trim so i dont feel so messy down there around that time of the month. Its already messy enough so i just trim abit
And bikini line i use hair removal creams often lasts longer and no ingrown hairs @Nurse_Nettie

May 26, 2017 at 5:13 am #110829

MsBlueStreak
Participant

My least favourite double standard between the sexes has to be around self-pleasure.

It’s just assumed that men do and should be able to masturbate to manage their ‘desires’. But I can’t imagine discussion about female masturbation taking place so casually or without judgement and ‘morals’ entering into at least the thoughts that colour the discussion. (I wish it would, I just can’t see it happening anytime soon)

May 27, 2017 at 2:26 am #110830

NickiPower
Participant

Totally high-fiving @MsBlueStreak for bringing up the masturbation point. I’m so glad that it’s becoming more acceptable to discuss female masturbation!

May 27, 2017 at 11:28 am #110831

Aunt_Flo
Moderator

@MsBlueStreak Yep!!! I’ve had people, mainly men, act as though a woman masturbating was super raunchy, a result of an insanely high sex drive etc. instead of a normal healthy thing to do.

I’ve had the pubic hair double standard happen to me which wasn’t nice. I think another one is sex itself. Having multiple partners is whorish for women, part of being a stud for men. Not nice at all!

May 28, 2017 at 4:25 am #110832

unknown
Participant

im wondering if it would be a good idea to make a thread for female masturbation as it seems to be gettgin more into fashion now and many are probably wondering the same thing as what is being discussed here?

May 28, 2017 at 7:02 am #110833

jackh
Participant

@unknown you are welcome to start one if you like

May 28, 2017 at 7:06 am #110834

unknown
Participant

sure why not

June 3, 2017 at 2:34 am #110835

NickiPower
Participant

Here’s another one, the falling asleep post-sex one. I know that I fall asleep ALL. THE. TIME. It just makes me really sleepy.

August 23, 2017 at 6:57 am #110836

HoneyPot
Moderator

Thanks for linking me to this thread @ElleBelle ! Double standards are so NO. As a pretty hairy cis-woman, people often ask me if my partners mind about my arm pit hair and I’m just like “…Mate. Why would I be with them if I did? Why would they be with me if they did?”
And other people have said to me things like “My boyfriend would kill me if I didn’t shave!” Which makes me so sad 🙁

August 24, 2017 at 5:42 am #110837

MsBlueStreak
Participant

@HoneyPot if my BF said anything near that, he’d be in rather a lot of pain. But as he’s not a giant jackass, he’s pretty safe (he’s never said a thing when I get lazy in winter and get all hairy).
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